On Mother's Days I feel a wide range of emotions from pure joy to deep sadness. I feel a deep sadness because of the loss of my dear mother when I was only 15. I had no idea the love, the impact, the devotion, the sacrifices of a mother until I no longer had one. Mothers are the gel that hold a family together. They are the love that makes a house a home, that brings happiness and sunshine to a home. If it hadn't been for the love of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and countless friends I would've fallen apart. I have felt a sadness because of the delayed opportunity to raise a sweet daughter.
But the pure joy I feel overwhelms the sadness I sometimes feel. I LOVE MOTHER'S DAY!! I love the chance (which is a daily occurrence, BTW) I have to reflect on my mother and the influence she has been, and still is, in my life. I feel blessed in my life to have two wonderful mothers- one who gave me life and helped shape me into who I am today, and one who has helped fill that void by being a friend, a mom, a grandmother, and a whole lot of fun. On Mother's Day I am reminded that one day I will hold my sweet little Rachel and be able to love her and raise her. She has brought me a lot of joy in my life. After her loss I wasn't sure if I ever would have the chance to be a mother in this life. But Heavenly Father has bless me with the two most precious boys a mother could have. And I can't forget to mention a wonderful husband who helps me care for the boys, cook dinner, clean up the kitchen, and lightens my load wherever possible.
As I'm writing this I am sitting in a comfortable chair in my bedroom while one of the twins is still sleeping (I think) and the other is downstairs whining to his daddy. With two 2-year olds Mother's Day is not exactly a break from the busy cares of our daily lives. But Steve is doing as much as he can. He has dinner cooking in the crock pot. He helped watch the boys during nursery (which is my calling right now) so I could attend the RS Visiting Teaching Conference. He got a card, wrote kinds words, and had the the boys "sign" below their names. He got me a gift to make listening to my iPod much easier. He is watching the boys until I feel like coming out of my room which very well my be until dinnertime! I truly have a wonderful husband.
Aaron and Andrew have brought me so much love, so much joy, so much happiness in my life. Even though they are busy little boys, even though they sometimes throw food, unroll toilet paper, play in the toilet, write on the walls, or wrap their arms (both boys!) tightly around my leg because they want to be held while I'm trying to fix dinner, I forget about all that when I see Aaron's precious smile or Andrew's adorable giggle. I forget about all that when I am reading to them and they point to, or say, something they recognize. I forget about all that when I see Aaron run into Andrew's bedroom (no, they don't share a room- the explanation can be for a different post) laughing with excitement because his playmate just woke up. Or sometimes Aaron is able to sneak in there when Andrew is still asleep and wakes him up because he doesn't like playing alone- not a happy time for me! Whatever the case is, I love, love, LOVE my boys and love being a mother. I only hope I can be as wonderful of a mother as mine was to me.
Tomorrow Andrew will be admitted to the hospital for another kidney surgery. Although I understand the need for this and that down the road it will prevent worse health problems, it breaks my heart to watch him have to go through this. He is a special kid who has been through this too many times already. Hopefully this is his last. If I could, I would do this surgery for him so he doesn't have to. I hope that by holding his hand all the way through it and being there by his bedside, that I can take away some of the pain. I know that's what my mother would've done if it was me in that bed.
Well, I think I hear crying from Andrew now because his much needed nap was rudely interrupted a few minutes ago (abt 1 hr early) by a brother who was desperate for his best friend to play with. This break has been a royal treat. I've been able to read my book, to spend some time on my laptop, and to get a 10 minute power nap.
Happy Mother's Day!!
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